Heights

For as Long as i can Remember, I’ve only ever had one Constantly Reoccurring Dream:

I awake to Feel heavy wind blowing in my Face. I am Blindfolded and my Hands are tied behind my back. I am Sitting on a Chair, a hard chair. Beside me there are a few men whispering in a Foreign Accent. This goes on for quite some time, as my Panic-Levels Increase ten Fold. Suddenly a Door is Loudly opened and i hear footsteps in asphalt walk closer and closer to where i am sitting. A Loud Conversation takes place a few feet away from my face, until suddenly my Blindfold is Ripped off. My Heart Immediately attempts to Jump out of my Ribcage when i comprehend that i am tied to a Chair on-top of a Skyscraper. I can see Huge Skyscrapers in the Distance, but nothing dwarfs the one I’m currently on. My Main captor increases his Volume as each Minute passes, but i cannot understand a word he says, so i continue to repeat ‘Do YOU speak ENGLISH?’. After a few conversations back and forth with his ‘men’, i am suddenly dragged (whist still on the chair) across toward the Edge of the Building. They leave me there on the VERY edge and all walk into the Door. I assume their plan is for a Major Gust to topple me, so i immediately thrust my weight forward and land on my Front. Hoorah! I assume i am now safe, and when i can muster some more strength (and give my captors time to vacate the building), all will be fine. Sadly, my Captors have not left at all. They all return and once again drag me to the very Edge of the Building. This time though, the Main Captor puts his Foot on my chest and screams more questions at me. Before i can even reply, he applies all his Weight and starts my Downfall to Death.

I Slowly somersault in the Air numerous times, i can feel the elevated wind pressure on my face, i can feel my breathing get harder, i can see city lights blur as i spin around and i can taste nothing but complete fear. I always awaken when I’m about 100ft from the very ground, usually in a Cold Sweat.

The Consistency of my dream is such, that the faces always remain the same, the plot is nearly always identical, my clothes are always identical, and the Language they speak is always the same.

a) I will NEVER wear Clothes like i do in the above Scenario
b) If i Recognise one of those Faces, i will RUN
c) I will never Move to a City Resembling the one above

I have been Petrified of Heights since i was Very Very Young. I’ve never Had any Large Falls or any Childhood scars that would steer me away from Heights; My body has just always been afraid of Falling. I am thankful to my Body for this Guardian Angel Approach though. I guess you could say that i get a Panic-Attack anytime I’m put into a Height-Related Situation (Flying for Example).

These days, My Fear has only been Magnified by my Human Curiosity leading me to see videos of those poor Folks Jumping from the Towers on 9/11 and Suicide Jumpers Etc. That Small window of time from when they jump until they hit the floor, must be incredibly difficult; You no longer have a choice to save your own life; you’re helpless.

I Don’t know if it’s a common reaction, but i almost always go ‘woozy’ at even slightly-high Heights. Woozy = Dizzy, Close to Fainting. Heights and my Body are like Mismatched Magnets with terrible hatred for Each Other. A Relationship soured.

I also attribute my Fear of Heights (acrophobia) to the fact that i avoid ‘Danger’ at all Costs. I’m not a Stick in the Mud by any means, but i would never involve myself in something that COULD prove fatal. For Example:

• Bungee Jumping
• Parachuting

Cure? I’m not sure I’d ever try to rid myself of this fear response. I think it’s healthy to be honest. Very Healthy. It does restrict me from doing Some things that i’d love to be able to do though; Like View New York from the Empire State Building and Climb to the Top of the Eiffel Tower.

(However : http://www.360cities.net/image/empire-state-building-panorama-manhattan-new-york-city#56.03,2.60,70.0 will do for now! )

It’s at the Top of a Huge Building like the Empire State, that we realise how small we are in relative terms to this Huge Earth.

Heights are the Devil.